How to Persuade Your Partner to Let You Play Football in 3 Easy Steps — The Soccer Mentor

Fellas, we know it can be tough to persuade your partner to allow you to go out with your friends for a kickaround, and asking them not to tempt you with a ‘night in’ when you’ve got a game the next morning can be hard.

Of course, this doesn’t just go for guys. For all the ladies out there, who are equally as invested in the game, it can sometimes be tough to say no to a meal out when, really, you should be at training.

So, how can you persuade your partner to let you, simply, play football? It’s easier said than done — and we’re not claiming to be relationship gurus here at The Soccer Mentor- but here are some tried and tested tips to try.

Step One — Talk to Them…Yes, You’re Going to Need to Talk

The first step to persuade your partner to let you play football is to simply pluck up the courage to talk to them about it.

Naturally, we don’t like disappointing our significant others, so some may be tempted to simply go and play football either without telling their partner, or by dropping the classic ‘I’ve been held up at work/school’ white lie. Of course, in reality, they haven’t been held up at all.

However, our partners — male or female — tend to have a funny way of finding out if we’re lying. It’s a ‘relationship thing’, and often, we feel inclined to tell them eventually. Naturally, this leads to mistrust, arguments, and a lower chance of getting a favourable outcome next time you ask!

Remember, no partner should be refusing to let their other half socialise. In a relationship, each partner needs a certain level of freedom from the other. This is a normal, healthy part of a relationship, and if your partner is refusing to let you socialise with your friends, then it’s not okay.

Spending time apart from each other, even if it’s only for an hour or so every few evenings whilst socialising with different friendship groups, allows you to keep your relationship fresh.

Step Two — Promise to Rearrange the Date Night

As much as social freedom is important in a relationship, we know that football can take up a lot of people’s time. Depending on the level at which you play, training can be anywhere from an hour a week to four, five, or six hours a week at semi-pro level as well as games, both home and away, on weeknights and weekends.

It’s only normal for your partner to want to spend time with you. When football begins to take up a significant amount of your time, your other half may begin to feel a little undervalued.

Even if they know how important football is in your life, and that it’s important to respect each other’s time if you’ve committed to something, you don’t want ‘football or spouse’ to become a trade-off. If it does get to the point where you find yourself having to pick between the two, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your schedule.

But, if it’s just a one-off, then offer to rearrange the ‘date night’ with your spouse. This is even more important if you are having to call off pre-arranged plans for football (e.g. if a game or session is rearranged and you need to attend).

Whilst it shouldn’t get to a point where your partner will only let you play football in exchange for something, it’s simply nice, more than anything, to show your partner that it isn’t a case of ‘them or football’. If you find yourself having to spend several nights a week at football, then why not create a monthly date night or weekend away that you place above any other events that come up?

Remember, though, that if you are going to make plans, you need to stick to them. There are few things less threatening to a relationship than constant broken promises.

Step Three — Bring Them Along to Watch

Football is meant to be fun, much like relationships. There is a myriad of similarities between sport and dating, with both full of highs and lows.

Seeing those you love supporting you is one of the greatest feelings that one can experience. After all, we should all want to see our family, friends and partners do well. So, if you do want/need to head out to play football, why not ask your partner to come along?

For some people, bringing their significant other along is a big no-no. A number of players will find themselves trying too hard in front of their partners, inadvertently putting in a detrimental performance both for the player themself and the team. But, for others, it’s completely the opposite.

This often comes down to what you’re like as a person. Do you enjoy the spotlight? Do you have a bit of an ego? Or are you somebody who prefers to go about their business quietly, doing what has to be done and nothing more? In football, there isn’t anything wrong with either of these personas, but it’s when one finds themselves falling into the opposite character in front of their partner that problems begin to arise.

If you’re finding it tough to persuade your partner, and they’re making you feel a little guilty for leaving a Netflix and chill night in for a cold, muddy field somewhere on a Tuesday night in the middle of winter, then why not ask them to come?

They can bring something to occupy them for the time you’re playing — work, a book, sleep, whatever — and then you can roll back the years of the relationship and head for a late-night McDonalds post-session. The great thing about this plan is that it applies to any time of the day — quite literally, given McDonalds are open 24/7!

But, in all seriousness, for the non-footballing spouse, if you know that your other half loves the game, then why not go and support him or her? Relationships and football are meant to be fun. Let’s all try and keep it that way.

Originally published at https://thesoccermentor.com on January 30, 2021.